A Slow and Luxurious Week in Madeira - Whale Songs, Wine Sips & Mountain Bliss

Seven days on Portugal’s “Island of Eternal Spring,” where rugged cliffs meet turquoise waters, and the pace of life is deliciously unhurried. Think whale watching, infinity pools, and enough wine and seafood to make your heart sing.

Why Madeira? The Perfect Honeymoon Choice

Planning a honeymoon can be a daunting choice. Where do you go for a relaxing, romantic stay, especially for two well travelled gays like us? We wanted somewhere versatile - a destination where we could do absolutely nothing one day, and explore to our heart's content the next. And we wanted somewhere that was welcoming to LGBTQ+ travellers but somewhere we could still relax and not be drawn by the bright lights of a party capital. Madeira ticked every box. It's as romantic as it is adventurous, equally suited to sunbathing with cocktails in hand, or hiking through emerald-green mountains. And the food? Divine.

This isn't an island that tries too hard; instead, it invites you to slow down, savour every moment, and soak in the beauty of it all. It's the kind of place where a week somehow feels like two - in the best way possible.

Where to Stay - Saccharum Hotel, Calheta

If you're coming to Madeira for a week of pure bliss, the Saccharum Hotel in Calheta, on the sunny south coast of the island, is where your luggage should land. It's the kind of place where you wake up, throw open the curtains, and immediately feel like you've stumbled into a postcard - dramatic ocean views, infinity pools that spill into the horizon, and interiors that feel both luxe and relaxed. The hotel is built on the site of a former sugar mill (hence the name Saccharum), and little touches nod to this heritage. It's modern without feeling sterile - soft earth tones, reclaimed wood, and the occasional industrial accent through it's restaurant, poolside bars, and beach club, that gives it personality.

Our top tip: Book a sea-view room. Yes, it's a splurge, but sipping on a Poncha (Madeira's signature rum-based cocktail) on your balcony as the sun melts into the Atlantic is one of those holiday moments you'll replay forever.

Day 1: Whale Watching in Calheta

Madeira is one of the best places in Europe for ethical whale and dolphin watching, and Calheta is the ideal launch point. The waters here are home to more than 20 species throughout the year - from playful dolphins to mighty sperm whales - and the tours are small, respectful to the wildlife, and eco-conscious. We booked with a local outfit called Lobosonda that proudly prioritise animal welfare and explain to all travellers the importance of the marine research they do alongside tourist tours, and it was worth every cent. The thrill of spotting a pod of dolphins arcing through the still blue waters, and families of whales lazily drifting between deep dives is pure magic - definitely one of the most emotional experiences we've ever had.

Top Tip: Bring a light jacket - it gets breezy at sea - and a camera with a zoom lens if you’re into photography.

Gluten-Free Traveller’s Tip: Post-tour, head back to the marina for lunch. Many of the small restaurants along the harbour offer grilled fish and salads that are naturally gluten-free - just double-check sauces to avoid rogue flour.

Day 2: A Day in Funchal & Cabo Girao

Your second day calls for a trip to Funchal, Madeira’s capital, where modern vibrancy meets old-world charm. Start your morning wandering through Mercado dos Lavradores - a riot of colour with stalls piled high with exotic fruits, fresh fish, and tropical flowers. It’s touristy, yes, but it’s also a feast for the senses. We wandered from here towards the small but perfectly formed Cathedral in the historic centre, took in the glamorous exterior of The Ritz, and then headed uphill towards the grand Igreja de São João Evangelista and the nearby Madeira Wine house, Pereira D'Oliveira. We sat inside the busy warehouse around large barrels upturned to become makeshift table, the smell of aged oak and sweet fortified wine filling our nostrils.

After lunch and a tipple, we made our way back westwards along the coast, where the arc of Funchal Bay starts to climb past Camara dos Lobos - a sweet little fishing town that was a favourite of Winston Churchill's - and made our way to Cabo Girão Skywalk, Europe’s highest sea cliff viewpoint. Standing on the glass platform 580 metres above the Atlantic is equal parts terrifying and exhilarating. And the views? Worth every wobbly-kneed moment.

Wine Tip: While in Funchal, duck into one of the city’s Madeira wine lodges. Blandy’s and Pereira D’Oliveira, as well as Henriques & Henriques in Camara dos Lobos, all offer excellent tours and tastings. Pro tip: Learn the difference between Sercial (dry), Verdelho (medium-dry), Bual (medium-rich), and Malmsey (rich and sweet). Your palate - and your future dinner parties - will thank you.

Getting Around: Parking in Funchal is a nightmare. Trust us, book a transfer or hop on the public bus instead of attempting to drive yourself.

Day 3: Monte & The Famous Toboggan Ride

If you’ve ever wanted to sled down a mountain in a giant wicker basket, Monte is where that dream becomes reality. Start your day with a cable car ride from Funchal up to Monte, enjoying jaw-dropping views over the bay on your assent into the cooler mountains overlooking the bay. The view from up here is truly breath-taking if the weather is on your side, but even if it isn't, the weather up here can clear quickly and the views back over Funchal are only every a breeze away.

Once at the top, stroll through the Monte Palace Tropical Garden - lush, vibrant, and dripping with exotic plants, koi ponds, and azulejo-tiled walkways. It’s the kind of place where time just melts away. We spent a couple of hours walking through the terraces and views of this sprawling mountainside gardens, dodging occasional showers and basking in the humidity of this tropical paradise.

Then, there’s the famous toboggan ride - a tradition dating back to the 1850s. Two men in straw hats and crisp white uniforms steer you down winding streets in what can only be described as the most fabulous-yet-totally-madcap Uber ride of your life.

Top Tip: Wear comfortable shoes and keep your camera ready - it’s a one-of-a-kind experience you’ll want to capture.

Day 4: Swimming on the North Coast

If the South Coast is the sunshine capital, the North Coast serves serious Jurassic Park realness - with dramatic cliffs plunging straight into the sea, rock pools carved into volcanic rock, and thick forests clinging to high valleys and misty peaks.

We packed our swimmers and headed first to Porto Moniz, home to Madeira’s iconic natural lava pools. Formed by volcanic rock and filled with crystal-clear seawater, these pools are the ultimate spot for a refreshing dip. There are both natural and maintained pools here, both exhilarating, high up from the huge Atlantic rollers that slam into the walls splashing the swimmers who swim close to the edge.

Spend the morning lazing by the pools, then grab a light lunch at one of the oceanfront cafés - grilled limpets (lapas) are a local speciality.

Before heading back south, head eastwards to the sleepy town of Seixal with it's gorgeous black sand beach, complete with the most eye-bursting primordial views along the coast, and small waterfall clattering down onto the beach, making it possibly the most beautiful small beach anywhere in the Atlantic.

Top Tip: If you’re visiting during the summer, aim to arrive early. The pools and beach are both popular with both locals and tourists, and you’ll want to snag a good spot to lounge between swims.

Day 5: Into the Interior - Pico Arieiro and Ribeira Frio

For a day in the clouds, inland Madeira is not to be missed. The lofty peak of Pico Arieiro is Portugal's highest mountain, and pokes proudly up through the cloud line crowned at the top with a huge space telescope and awesome views across the whole island.

From here, parked right at the top, it's possible to do a ridge-line walk through the clouds to the next mountain along via Europe's most dramatic hiking route - definitely not one for the faint hearted or those affected by vertigo - and we decided to have our lofty coffee, take in the views, and head back down from our 1,800m high vantage point.

For a change of pace, head inland to Ribeira Frio for one of Madeira’s famous levada walks. These ancient irrigation channels double as hiking paths that snake through lush forests and dramatic valleys.

The Balcoes Levada Walk is a gentle 1.5km stroll perfect for a relaxed morning. At the end, you’re rewarded with a panoramic view of the island’s central peaks and the UNESCO-protected ancient Laurel forests - the kind of view that makes you want to write poetry, or at least a smug Instagram caption. Be prepared for the incredibly friendly native finches who gather in the trees nearby, and if you're patient and have a handful of seeds, will even land on your hand for the perfect Instagram shot.

Top Tip: Wear proper shoes, even for the easy walks, as the paths can get slippery after rain.

After your hike, stop for lunch at a nearby trout farm restaurant. The fresh-caught trout, grilled to perfection, is a local delicacy and naturally gluten-free.

How to Taste Madiera Wine Like a Pro

Madeira wine is more than just a sweet tipple - it's a whole experience. Here's how to do it justice:

• Start with a tasting flight - explore the spectrum from dry Sercial to rich Malmsey.

• Pair it Properly - dry Madeira with seafood, medium with cheese, and rich sweet versions with dessert or even on their own.

• Buy a Bottle to bring home - aged bottles make for fabulous and affordable souvinirs, and plus, due to their fortification process they never expire in the bottle.

Getting Around The Island

Madeira isn't the place to wing it with public transport - renting a car is your golden ticket. The roads are winding, the tunnels are endless, and some of the mountain drives will make you swear under your breath, but the freedom to explore at your own pace is worth every hairpin turn.

If you're not up for driving, most hotels can arrange transfers and guided tours, but be prepared to stick to a more rigid schedule.

Gluten-Free in Madeira

Madeira is surprisingly kind to gluten-free travellers, thanks to a diet heavy on fresh fish, grilled meats, rice, and salads. Look out for:

• Espetada - skewers of marinated beef, often cooked over open flames.

• Fresh Fish - particularly black scabbard-fish, a local speciality. Looks scary, tastes wonderful!

• Bolo do Caco - sadly Madeira's famous flatbread isn't gluten-free, but many restaurants will try for an alternative or swap for a brazilian style tapioca crepe or Pao do Quejio.

LGBTQ+ Travel Tip

Madeira isn't a party island like Mykonos or Ibiza, but it's quietly welcoming and safe for LGBTQ+ travellers. Most locals are friendly and accepting, especially in the tourist hubs of Funchal and Calheta. For a little queer connection, time your visit with the annual Madeira Pride event in Funchal - a small but joyful celebration of love and visibility.

Slow Travel, Madeira Style

Madeira is one of those rare destinations that feels like a deep exhale - a place to savour rather than rush. A week here gives you the luxury of both relaxation and adventure, from sipping wine at sunset to hiking along ancient levadas, from the quiet dignity of a whale breach to the laughter of a toboggan ride down Monte.

And that’s the magic of Madeira: it doesn’t demand you do it all. It simply invites you to linger, sip, swim, and breathe.

Save this post for your next trip to Madeira - and don’t forget to follow Big Gay World Travel for more travel stories, tips, and LGBTQ+ adventures across the globe.